The problem isn't that disrobing digital women is particularly offensive to my admittedly barbaric sensibilities (and if I ever turn into one of those droning moralistic crusaders, please feel free to put a bullet in my head and ten in my back just to be sure) but rather because the minigame associated with it is tedious to play through. We're talking butts, breasts, and pretty much anywhere on the female body that might be touched. Speaking of improving decks, that leads into discussing the somewhat infamous aspect of Monster Monpiece-the monsters in the game are all drawn as cute girls in suggestive poses, and in order to level them up, it's necessary to use the Vita's touchscreen controls to rub their erogenous zones until their clothes literally fall off their bodies. While I didn't try the cash option, the cards I accrued through gameplay were more than sufficient to stomp unwary opponents. To obtain more cards, (and thus more variety in strategy) they can be won from opponents, found in the story mode or simply bought from a shop-either using in-game currency or from the PSN store with real money. Naturally, putting together the perfect deck is a huge advantage in battle. It's reasonably in-depth without being overwhelming, and easy to get the hang of since all the pertinent information is clearly laid out. The structure of Monpiece goes even further than when taking into account ranged and melee attack types, buffing characters by merging cards of the same race together, and additional special skills for certain cards based on their level. They also have one of four colors assigned to them, so placing three cards of the same color consecutively will upgrade every friendly piece on the board and generate additional mana to summon more cards. For example, each card drawn has its own health, attack, and intelligence stats which directly tie into how much abuse they can dish out (or receive) before popping off to that great deck of cards in the sky. As such, there are a ton of additional variables to keep track of. While this is the gist of play, keep in mind that it's a card game at heart. Both players have a home castle placed at either end of the playfield, and the goal of each encounter is to have troops trundle over to the opponent's side, murder anything stupid enough to get in the way, and promptly smash the opponent's domicile into a fine, dusty paste. Once cards are played on this grid, they turn into soldiers which can both defend against and attack the enemy. Putting the soporific story aside, Monster Monpiece is a card game which takes place on a grid-based battlefield. Good thing the game itself is pretty damn decent then, eh? Despite the fact that her quest involves some pretty important milestones including overcoming her lack of confidence, preventing her friends from turning into bloodthirsty abominations and saving the world from certain doom, the dialogue and characters are bland as all hell throughout. The single-player campaign of Monster Monpiece chronicles the adventures of May, a shy and self-doubting master of monsters who embarks on a journey for reasons that are too mind-numbingly tedious to go into. WTF Unimportant NPC's haven't even been afforded the dignity of a pair of eyeballs. LOW The endgame of the single player campaign stretches out foreverrrrrrrrr. One of the best FFs ever made.HIGH Clinching a win in a hotly-contested online match when all seemed lost. Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII (PSP, it is fucking CRAZY that this game hasn't seen any port or remaster to modern platforms/PC. A few of my favorites, in no particular order:
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